1.
“I’m
back
and
better
than
ever!
Just
kidding,
I’m
basically
the
same
hot
mess
as
before. ”
【笑】

2.
“I’ve
returned
to
the
land
of
the
living
from
my
social
media
hiatus.
Did
anyone
even
notice
I
was
gone?”
【想笑】

3.
“The
prodigal
Instagrammer
has
returned!
If
anyone
needs
me,
I’ll
be
over
here
frantically
deleting
embarrassing
old
posts. ”
【眨眼】

4.
“I’m
resurrected!
Can
someone
please
send
some
snacks
to
celebrate?”
【愉快】

5.
“It’s
official,
folks—I’m
back
in
the
saddle.
Time
to
get
back
to
taking
too
many
selfies!”
【微笑】

6.
“I
took
some
time
off
to
focus
on
me,
but
now
I’m
back
and
ready
to
jump
back
into
the
dumpster
fire
of
social
media. ”
【大笑】

7.
“The
rumors
of
my
death
(by
drowning
in
the
sea
of
social
media)
have
been
greatly
exaggerated.
I’m
back
and
ready
to
procrastinate
on
all
the
important
things!”
【可爱】

8.
“You
thought
I
was
gone
for
good,
didn’t
you?
Well
joke’s
on
you,
I’m
back
and
more
obnoxious
than
ever. ”
【恶搞】

9.
“It’s
like
the
prodigal
son
story,
except
with
less
pigs
and
more
Instagram
filters. ”
【滑稽】

10.
“I’ve
done
my
time
in
social
media
jail
and
now
I’m
a
free
woman
again!”
【微笑】

11.
“You
can’t
keep
me
away
from
my
favorite
hobby
forever—likes
and
comments
are
my
lifeblood. ”
【开怀】

1
2.
“I’m
like
a
phoenix
rising
from
the
ashes,
except
instead
of
fire
it’s
just
me
taking
a
break
from
the
internet
for
a
little
bit. ”
【挑笑】

1
3.
“I’m
back
and
ready
to
grace
your
feed
with
a
non-stop
barrage
of
mediocre
content. ”
【淘气】

1
4.
“I
come
bearing
good
news:
my
social
media
hiatus
has
officially
ended.
Prepare
yourselves
for
an
onslaught
of
cat
memes
and
poorly-lit
selfies. ”
【逗趣】

1
5.
“Surprise!
You
thought
I’d
disappeared
into
the
ether,
but
really
I
just
took
a
break
to
re-evaluate
my
life
choices. ”
【快乐】

1
6.
“Well,
well,
well,
look
who’s
crawled
out
of
their
social
media
hole.
It’s
just
me,
your
friendly
neighborhood
chronic
poster. ”
【搞笑】

1
7.
“I’ve
been
on
a
spiritual
journey
of
self-discovery,
and
I’ve
decided
that
I
need
attention
from
strangers
on
the
internet
to
truly
be
happy. ”
【搞笑】

1
8.
“I’m
not
saying
I’m
addicted
to
social
media,
but
I
did
break
out
in
a
cold
sweat
the
minute
I
realized
I
couldn’t
access
my
accounts
for
an
entire
week. ”
【玩笑】

1
9.
“It’s
been
a
long,
lonely
month
without
my
beloved
Instagram,
but
I’m
finally
back
and
ready
to
share
pictures
of
every
meal
I
eat. ”
【有趣】

20.
“I’ve
heard
through
the
grapevine
that
people
were
holding
candlelight
vigils
for
me
during
my
social
media
hiatus.
Sorry
to
disappoint
you,
friends,
but
I’m
alive
and
well
and
ready
to
clog
your
feeds
with
endless
selfies. ”
【搞怪】