1.
Just
tried
to
make
a
smoothie
without
a
blender.
Turns
out
it's
just
fruit
salad.
#KitchenFail】

2.
If
at
first,
you
don't
succeed,
skydiving
is
not
for
you.
#FunnyQuotes】

3.
"Exercise?
I
thought
you
said
extra
fries!"
#GymHumor】

4.
"I
put
the
'pro'
in
procrastination. "
#ProcrastinateGoals】

5.
"I
speak
fluent
sarcasm. "
#SassyRemarks】

6.
"All
I
need
is
coffee
and
a
good
book
to
be
happy. "
#BookLover】

7.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
conserving
energy. "
#LazyHumor】

8.
"I
don't
need
a
hairstylist,
my
pillow
gives
me
a
new
hairstyle
every
morning. "
#BedheadProblems】

9.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
simply
explaining
why
I'm
right. "
#NoOffense】

10.
"My
spirit
animal
is
a
sloth. "
#SlothLove】

11.
"I
don't
always
have
a
witty
comeback,
but
when
I
do,
I
forget
it. "
#LostJokes】

1
2.
"Don't
worry,
I'm
not
perfect.
I
make
mistakes
like
everyone
else. . . except
I
do
it
with
style!
#FlawedandFabulous】

1
3.
"I'm
not
short,
I'm
just
concentrated
awesome. "
#PetitePride】

1
4.
"I
was
born
to
be
wild,
but
only
until
9
pm
or
so. "
#EarlyBedtime】

1
5.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
passionately
expressing
my
opinion
that
is
completely
correct. "
#DebatingSkills】

1
6.
"I've
decided
to
stop
saying
'Why
me'
and
start
saying
'Why
not
me'
-
it
has
a
smaller
character
count
on
Twitter. "
#PositivityGoals】

1
7.
"I
think
my
guardian
angel
is
a
drunk.
Every
time
I
do
something
stupid,
they
let
me
get
away
with
it. "
#AngelHumor】

1
8.
"I'm
pretty
sure
my
blood
type
is
coffee
at
this
point. "
#CoffeeObsessed】

1
9.
"I'm
not
addicted
to
chocolate.
We
just
have
a
sweet,
loving
relationship. "
#Chocoholic】

20.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
expressing
myself
with
passion
and
strong
hand
gestures. "
#DramaticDebates】